Note: This post is not meant to target those who are vegetarians for religious reasons or those who are vegetarians because they have some chronic disease that doesn’t allow them to eat meat. Instead, I’m targeting every single idiot out there who is a vegetarian for reasons like animal cruelty and health benefits.
Edit 9/10/14: Alright time to clear some air here. I started FitMole back in June 2011 and wrote this article in Aug 2011. Back when I started the blog I was trying to discover the best way to generate more traffic. So I thought to myself, “what’s the best way to get people talking?” So I came up with this article and the slightly edgy, and some might even call immature headline. And yes, I know the article can be seen as a bit offensive and ignorant. I still stand by my claims 100% that going vegetarian isn’t healthier than eating meat, but I do take full responsibility for some of the slightly ignorant comments I’ve made about animal cruelty. Other than that, can the person who keeps sending me death threat emails stop now 🙂
First off I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I normally don’t swear in the post title, but I just have to emphasize how stupid it is to become a vegetarian. It’s stupid, ridiculous, unnecessary, stupid, and did I mention it’s FUCKING stupid.
I have a couple of friends and family members that are vegetarians, and don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate them. I just can’t understand why they decided to follow this lifestyle.
When I ask them why they decided to become a vegetarian, they give me reasons like “Oh, it makes me feel good,” “Because meat is bad for your health,” or “I don’t want to harm animals.” Whenever I hear these reasons, I just put on my best “nod and pretend to agree with you” face.
So why is becoming a vegetarian stupid? Lets take a look:
1) You aren’t saving the lives of animals
I get it. You don’t like it when the heads of baby cows and pigs are chopped off, but do you really think eating that tofu burger is saving lives.
Fruits, vegetables, and grains are a staple among vegetarian diets, but did you know that millions of animals die just so you can enjoy that piece of bread? Eating foods like grains means destroying ecosystems and all of its inhabitants. It means killing all the little animals, birds, bugs, and microorganisms that live among the fields.
Do you know how many little animals and microorganisms die when farmers use machines to plow through wheat fields? The answer is a lot more than 1 cow.
As cheesy as it sounds, everything in life requires sacrifice. Animals are killed to get meat and ecosystems are destroyed to get grains. So the next time I’m eating a steak, don’t you dare judge me for killing a cow.
2) There is absolutely zero scientific proof showing that going vegetarian is healthy
When I want to believe something, I need proof. I need definite scientific proof.
And no, proof doesn’t mean reading a quote in Shape or MensHealth magazine. In order to convince me about anything I need to see a scientific study that shows causation not correlation.
For example, eating less food will make you loss weight. This is a stone cold fact that will remain true no matter what.
However, there is absolutely ZERO proof showing that going vegetarian will decrease your risk of heart disease, cancer, or whatever nasty stuff you can think of.
The only thing we have are thousands of studies showing a correlation between an increased risk of disease and an increase in meat consumption. We have studies that conclude that eating meat “may increase” your risk of heart disease, but this doesn’t mean crap. It’s inconclusive and doesn’t prove anything. Saying that your risk of heart disease “may increase” from eating red meat is like saying you “may” be able to breath fire if you eat enough jalapenos.
And yes, before you get all crazy on me, I have read the China Study a.k.a the vegetarian’s wet dream. For those who don’t know, the China Study was a big study conducted by Dr. Campbell who basically concluded that meat is killer.
While the China Study garnered a ton of media attention a couple years ago, it is also an incredibly flawed study despite it’s massive scale. But talking about all the flaws in the China Study is beyond the scope of this article, so let me turn you over to a great article written by Denise Minger of Raw Food SOS. She did an amazing job in analyzing the China Study and basically debunked every single aspect of it.
People need to stop believing the mainstream media, and need to start looking at the actual research and facts.
[The leaders of anti-vegetarians]
3) You don’t get to eat meat
I know this is a bit obvious, but being a vegetarian means that you don’t get to eat meat. EVER. That means no steak, bacon, horse, or BBQ ribs. The closest thing you’ll ever get to meat is some glued together crap made of wheat and soy.
And please, don’t tell me that your veggie burger tastes better than my double bacon cheeseburger, okay? Don’t tell me “Oh, but it tastes just like the real thing.” No it doesn’t, you rationalizing crazy person. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, a piece of tofu will never taste as good as a greasy piece of beef.
So if vegetarians are so concerned about their health, then why do they opt for highly processed foods likes breads and cereals that are not found in nature as opposed to real animal meat which has been around since…. forever. It makes no freakin sense.
4) Vegetarians are actually eating animals without knowing it!
This past summer, I took a Biology 101 class at a community college to fulfill some general education requirements for my degree. While the class was a complete waste of my time and I pretty much bull-shitted my way through it, I did learn something quite interesting.
I learned about the food web, which is basically description of “who eats who” in the environment.
It goes something like this:
fox eats rabbit => fox poops into the soil => the living soil then absorbs the poop(which includes the rabbit) => fruit and vegetable plants absorb that exact same soil to grow => humans eat those same fruits and vegetables
This process happens EVERYWHERE in nature.
So even if you’re a vegetarian, you’re technically eating dead animals, albeit in a more indirect liquid form. But last time I checked, vegetarians were all about saving lives no matter what.
Don’t be a vegetarian
Despite everything you’ve heard, vegetarians are NOT the health conscious animal saving saints that they’re made out to be.
Instead, vegetarians:
- Support the destruction of ecosystems to obtain their food
- Kill millions of small animals, bugs, and microorganisms
- Aren’t saving their health since there’s absolutely zero scientific proof showing that meat is bad for you
- Are actually eating meat without knowing it
- Are simply misinformed about every aspect of the vegetarian lifestyle
So if you’re a vegetarian, then hopefully I’ve done my job to piss you off beyond belief, and if I converted you, then that’s cool too.
Once again, the only reason why you should be a vegetarian is for religious reasons or because you have a some chronic disease that doesn’t allow you to eat meat. But even if you’re a vegetarian for religious reasons, you might want to start questioning the logic behind your beliefs, just saying.
Alright guys, be sure to share this article with every single vegetarian you know, and to close out this article I have 3 parting words:
FUCK YOU PETA
I’m not a vegetarian, but I must say, this is one of the most flawed pieces of logic I’ve had the pleasure of reading in a while.
WOAH YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY KNOW IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT AND THERE ARE MANY OTHER REASONS WHY PEOPLE GO VEGETRAIAN OR CUT LESS MEAT OUT OF THEIR DIET, WE ARE AWARE THAT WE AREN’T SAVING EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL OUT THERE BY NOT EATING MEAT BUT WE ARE DEFFINITELY REDUCING THE RATE OF ANIMALS BEING HARMED AND TAKEN OUT OF THEIR NATURAL HABITAT, WITH PROVIDING ACTUAL PROOF TO BACK THIS ARGUEMENT UP HERE’S A WEBSITE YOU MAY WANT TO CHECK OUT BEFORE YOU GO AROUND CALLING VEGETARIANS FUCKING STUPID!www.soystache.com/vegan-books.htm
Yes vegetarian diets work, but they don’t work any better than a diet that contains meat. Also, the point I’m trying to make is that vegetarians are actually eating and harming animals to some degree without relaly knowing it. And I’m sorry, maybe I came off a bit strong in this post but it was supposed to be a bit humorous.
Well if you think your such a funny guy then go and bunga bunga with berlusconi!
Yours truly,
Adolf, your FUHRER
trololololololollolololo
Funny article, except that you completely ignore all the literature about the link between industrial meat production and environmental destruction. In particular, I suggest that you read on the soy that is being cultivated in south america (and for which the amazonian forest is destroyed) to feed the cows that you then eat. Same goes for the amount of water that’s needed to produce beef for example (15000 liters for 1 kg of meat). And so on…it’s not a funny topic, it is actually a very serious and important one. Animal rights and health are kinda shaky reasons with shaky scientific facts behind them. But we have a wealth of data about the link between environmental destruction and industrial meating, in report from NGOs and UN agencies, that’s impossible to ignore.
In the end all industries hurt in environment in some way, shape or form. What bothers me is how vegetarians think they’re above everyone else and how they think their way of eating is perfect.
We can even argue about how the agriculture of plants and modern farming practices harm the environment. You destroy natural forests, cultivate the land, plant seeds, and use man made gas-powered machines and this in turn will kill any living organisms that were in the land originally.
I’m not saying destroying the environment is funny, but there is no way vegetarians are innocent either.
I don’t normally post comments, but in this case I felt a need. If we’re going to talk facts we should talk about how there are ways of farming, tending the land, and raising livestock that don’t destroy the ecosystem or harm the environment in any way. In fact, they all work together to support each other and increase the fertility of said ecosystem. It’s a concept as old as time. For life to exist…there will be death to sustain it. It’s because of that death that we flourish. It’s also of worth to note the fact that without the high consumption of saturated animal fats that our predecessors consumed(and enjoyed)… we would have been hard pressed to evolve the capacity to ever conceive of morality to begin with. The best thing to do would be to get back in touch with the things we used to know… smaller farms… more of them… make each one a self sustaining ecosystem that meets the (LOCAL!!!) needs. Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. Take a hint from nature… just live in harmony with your surroundings and adapt your methods to be sustainable. It’s more than possible. It’s going on right now. In closing… be proactive…take responsibility for your share of the death… embrace it the way our ancestors did. They were able to live sustainable lives because they respected their ecosystem. They realized that their lives depended on it… not the other way around.
I forgot to mention something. In a few years this could all be irrelevant. There is a real possibility that we will develop the technology to grow meat and leather in a laboratory…thoughts?
I agree Mike, but you have to be realistic – smaller farms for the locals, especially in this day and age just isn’t going to happen. I wish it did but as time goes on I believe everything is going to shift towards mass production, especially with advances in technology as you were saying. Of course there will always be the “little guys” who fight for fresh and local but they will always just be that, little.
But I think we still have a while to go before we start eating ‘lab meat.’
I have recently made the choice to not eat meat, though I would not call myself a vegetarian. My reason for not eating meat is pretty basic – I love animals and can’t bring myself to eat them, especially knowing the realities behind meat production. Besides that, I dislike the taste, and only ate chicken occasionally. However, I am not repulsed by meat, and would eat it (chicken) if I had to. I am fully aware that I am probably not saving animals, but it is a moral, personal choice for me.
I just want to point out after reading through the comments, that you are stereotyping and lumping all vegetarians into one category. In no way do I think vegetarians are superior to meat eaters. We are free to make whatever diet choices we want, and that’s no one else’s business. I wouldn’t try to convince a meat eater to go veg, just as no one else has the right to tell a vegetarian they should eat meat. Why? How does someone else’s diet affect you?
I know you said this was meant to be somewhat humorous, but it came across as quite offensive (and was also based on flawed logic).
I’ve covered your comments in previous responses. If you don’t like the taste of meat then that’s cool, I can stand behind that. However, what I can’t stand behind is people believing that becoming a vegetarian doesn’t harm any animals, see point #1.
“Eating foods like grains means destroying ecosystems and all of its inhabitants. It means killing all the little animals, birds, bugs, and microorganisms that live among the fields.” What do you think your meat eats? people wouldn’t plow lead to make feed for livestock if no one ate the livestock, then we’d only need enough land plowed for humans, aka much less
and finally there is a definite environmental benefit to vegetarianism which becomes quite apparent when anyone with a background in both biology and economics assesses the situation, please don’t say there isn’t or that vegetarians don’t help the world because they do, at least in theory, and I doubt you could find anything which says things are different in practice, I understand your not trying to offend but I have found this post quite offensive.
sincerely,
a meat eater
Please read my other comments, I’ve argued about this extensively. Welcome to the Internet – http://lifehacker.com/5811255/why-you-cant-win-an-argument-on-the-internet
What if you choose to not eat meat because our country is fucked and the meat is mass produced in horrible conditions and full of unnatural hormones? Meat has been around forever, but it certainly did not have all the bullshit in it that it does today. There is proof that it is not healthy to consume those things and and yes, pretty much every food industry is completely fucked at this point (GMOs, “organic”, etc.) But I think its pretty important to know where your food comes from and to choose to not partake in the consuming of animal products (for whatever the reason may be) takes a ton of willpower because we ARE humans and we ARE instinctually meat eaters. Going vegetarian or vegan has become a fad at this point, which is stupid. And using it as a weight loss tool is rediculous also.
But either way, you cannot be completely “pro meat” as hard as you are without feeling like a glutenous, over indulgent, fat american.
The article and comments are all very entertaining. I thoroughly enjoyed this.
In my opinion, the majority of you commenting are uneducated on the topics discussed above.
My best advice is to explore all perspectives on the topic(s) you are passionate about and your words will be more powerful.
Thank you admin, I did find it humorous.
Uneducated??
Hey there, I am a vegetarian and I’ve heard those arguments many times. You aren’t the only person who believes that vegetarianism is stupid. While I disagree with many of your points, I do agree that vegetarians don’t make much difference in the overall scheme of things. But my choice wasn’t about avoiding meat because I’m trying to save the world or all the animals, it was more personal than that. As long as humans are alive, there will be people like you who will slaughter animals happily. Vegetarianism is usually a much more personal choice that most people think. While I cannot change anything that is against my morality, I certainly don’t have to partake in it. I’ve chosen abstinence from that lifestyle, and I’m happier for it. I lost some weight, my skin is clearer, I really enjoy trying new and exotic foods, and I live a cruelty-free lifestyle (at least everything that is in my power, ie. my choices). Because while, yes, I eat vegetables that are harvested by machines that kill animals, so does everyone else. And unless I grow my own food, I can’t avoid it. I think we’d all be happier if we just respected that everyone has the right to make their own choices for their own reasons and that you have the same right. The only person with all information that is relevant to your own position/POV in life is you, so judgements are ill-formed and hurtful.
I’m a vegetarian of six years, and mate, I reading this was painful. I’ve never seen so many fallacies in one article. I’m not even going to make a list of them, that would take too much time. But, for your sake, I hope you use those fallacies to manipulate your readers, and not out of ignorance. I have a feeling it’s out of ignorance, though.
No and no.
Golly gee, you’re totally right. I’ll just give up my ways to help you rationalize what you eat. In fact, I’ll believe everything you’ve just said like it’s fact! I mean, you totally have references for these statements, right? Right.
I totally agree wih you. I am a meat eater but i still love animals(alive), is that normal? 😀
God I HAAAAATE the retarted “veggie” logic! Thank you for putting it all into layman’s terms. I have seen so many vegetarians and vegans over the last couple of years who’s health just completely deteriorated over a couple year period of going on their “healthy veg diets.” I went on a vegan diet because I once believed the ignorant “veggie hype,” only to find myself 6 months later with hypothyroidism, insulin resistent, low iron/anemic, depressed and 35 lbs. of weight gain… let’s not forget that I was ALWAYS “STARVING!” Thank God I came back to Earth!However, the TRUTH is that we have been eating meat for a VERY long time and whether or not we ate meat at the beginning isn’t important! What’s important is that we CURRENTLY “NEED” it now for strength and the healthy saturated fats that are in animal products “protect” our hearts and cells. It wasn’t until crisco, margarine and the “low fat diet” craze did we have all these health problems, (nevermind the obesity epidemic in and of itself) we see today. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! Your “vegetarianISM” is not only dumb, pointless, and against nature/our eco-system, but it’s hurting your fellow man in more ways than one! Study REAL studies please… and get the FACTS together!