Will Building Your Dream Body Make You Miserable?

May 9, 2016 | 13 Comments


You know that game Minecraft?

That game that’s basically just blocks and look like it was designed in 1999…

It makes no fucking sense to me but apparently millions of people love it.

And for the dude who created Minecraft (Markus Persson), it paid off handsomely.

Last year he sold the company for $2.5 billion to Microsoft.


That’s a lot of Chipotle with extra guac.

Now you would think being a billionaire is all it’s cracked up to be…if dudes like Dan Bilzerian are to be believed.

You would think it’s nothing but hanging out with supermodels, driving a different Ferrari for every day of the week, and private yachts…but apparently that’s not the case.

As Markus said on Twitter, it’s actually quite miserable:

Now why am I talking about this and what does it have to do with fitness?

A lot more than you think, actually.

Your pursuit to build your dream body might be hurting you more than you think

When starting this whole fitness thing to lose fat and build muscle, you probably have an idea (or at least a vague idea) of how you want to look in 3, 6, or 12 months from now.

Maybe you even have an “idol” like a celebrity you want to look like in a certain time frame.

“I want to build a body like Chris Evans…” is an email I get at least 2 times per week, guaranteed.

Will having a body like this really be as game changing as you think?

A lot of guys have this weird idea in their head that if they start building muscle/getting ripped that all their life problems will be solved.

  • Getting ripped will instantly 10x my confidence levels.
  • Building 20 pounds of muscle will automatically let me drown in a sea of pussy.
  • If I look like [insert super ripped dude], then I will finally get the respect I deserve and be happy.

But it doesn’t always happen.

If you have a certain fitness/physique goal and believe achieving said goal will instantly solve whatever problems you have, then you’re probably wrong.

Sure there are some things like improved health and increased physical strength that inevitably happen, but beyond that, I don’t believe reaching a certain fitness goal will change your life in the way most people think.

Just like becoming a billionaire didn’t help completely change the Minecraft creator’s life in the way you would think, getting a ripped six pack and a body that looks like Superman won’t instantly change everything.

Don’t chase goals…

I’m a big believer that goals themselves, are useless.

You can have goals of reaching 8% body fat or making a billion dollars, but in the end, 1 of 2 things typically happen:

1. You end up wanting more and more

You never become satisfied with what you have and only become happy when you get more. “More” can be losing even more body fat or gaining more muscle.

The problem is, there will always be “more” to had.

A lot of guys fall into the trap of muscle dysmorphia and never feel satisfied with where they are in terms of muscularity, leanness, and physique development.

2. You become sad and depressed because achieving said goal didn’t provide the desired result

You can set the goal of building 18 inch biceps and a lot of guys do because they believe having 18 inch arms will make them happy or gain respect from others.

But when it actually happens, not much actually changes. Having 18 inch arms is cool and all, but if you tie your self-worth to it, then you’re just fucking yourself over.

Instead, chase the process

Fitness is a double edged sword.

On one hand, it can help you build lean, strong, and physically healthy bodies.

But on the other hand, it can lead to you tying your self-worth to how you physically look or perform in the gym.

This will RUIN your life. 

To beat this, you need to stop chasing goals.

Stop thinking that you absolutely need to lose 10 pounds to feel happy or that you need to gain 20 pounds of muscle in order to get attract women.

This is why so many guys ego lift.

They tie their self worth too much to the amount of weight they’re pushing and think other people actually give a shit.

Instead, start developing a “process oriented” mindset and just love the process of fitness.

Start loving the fact that you lost 1 pound of fat this past week.

Start loving the fact that your arms grew by 1/2 an inch these last 6 months.

Celebrate the small wins and never develop the mindset that achieving a certain fixed goal is going to bring about game changing rewards.

Learn to love the journey.

This is what I teach with the non-fitness lifestyle and in my course Superhero Shredding 2.0.

If you don’t do this, it’s quite likely that building your “dream” body will only make you miserable.

What do you think? For those who have achieved a fitness goal they were at for months/years, did it change your life the way you thought it would? Let me know in the comments below.

13 Comments - Leave Your Thoughts

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  1. Well put. I like these kinds of ‘matter-of-fact’ posts. It’s very true. I lost 40lbs, and it’s great and all. But once you’ve ‘reached’ your goal, what then? I like lifting for the joy of lifting, not to become a Chris Evans.

    Sure, it starts as an aesthetics thing, but after a while you crave the workouts, lifting the heavier weights and higher reps.

    You only live once, enjoy it while you’re here!

    1. Thanks Pete.

      I just see more guys than ever today becoming painfully obsessed with fitness…and not even because they legitimately enjoy it.

      They do it because they think it makes them more of a man or think they need to look a certain way to be respected which is total BS.

  2. I’m not going to mess around with some story. I’m actually terrified of growing old, fat and weak, being 34, I’ve seen people my age at much worse shape and the best part is I have somewhat of a head start.

    I also started out ‘hating’ the process. The only way to acquire the manliest body is to work for it as there is no short cuts. Hard work is a nuisance but that just makes acquiring and finishing it off that much sweeter a victory.

    For me, this is the next big step. I have a solid career, a black belt in martial arts, a marriage (and subsequent divorce lolz), a graduation degree in all the ‘necessities’, and now, a solid work out plan that is giving me some excellent results.

    All that’s left is becoming a billionare and looking like Superman. Getting the ideal wife would be cool too, but I also understand my ‘too strong’ personality has a tendency to isolate me. It’s cool. That guy who sold Minecraft should give me the money, I know what to do when I’m on vacation 24/7. 🙂

    And yes, after acquiring each big goal, not many people care really, it disappointed me at first, but then hey, it’s about me not them so it’s forgivable right? ^_^

    I like your mindset training. I’m training for me, not for fame, or glory or the vimen, but for me to achieve the next big thing. Thanks again for the SS program. I’m having a blast.

      1. I love minecraft, but I also understand why people think it’s stupid.

        Anyway, really awesome article. I’ve always struggled with mindset when it comes to fitness goals, this totally changed the way I think about fitness.

        Also love the website overhaul.

  3. I agree with Pete. Most people are just obsessed with exercising either to woo girls or simply follow what famous personalities do. What they never realize is that being healthy means eating the right amount of food and keeping oneself away from diseases and being active. Most people simply go to gym, eat various protein shakes and powder with the main aim of getting the perfect abs. What they never realize is that this is not the sign of a healthy body.

    1. I’m not talking about the physical aspect of it.

      More so the mental side of getting in shape. A lot of people who used to be fat but are now ripped have the same insecurity – the former worried about being fat, the latter worries about whether or not they are ripped enough. Exact same problem just wrapped in a different package.

  4. I find lifting to break through plateus and gain new prs is the best idea. If you focus on that, and obviously eat properly, the muscle will come as a side effect.

    1. Chris Evans popularized healthy lifestyle + became perfect figure of a man. Work hard and he will get it.

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