Workout 90 Minutes A Week, Eat Cookies, And Get Wasted: The Rebel Guide To Getting A Summer Beach Body
Don’t eat carbs it’ll make you fat, they said.
Don’t drink alcohol, they said.
Eat nothing but grilled chicken and salad, they said.
Well you know what I say to all those points – fuck that!
If you want to get in shape for the summer or any occasion, you don’t need to make every moment of it a living hell.
The thing I love about summer is that it motivates people to lose weight and get in shape. It forces a deadline and deadlines are powerful, very powerful.
In fact, the only other time people are so motivated to get in shape is for the New Year.
But if you want to get in shape, you don’t need to do what everyone else is doing.
What if I told you that you could eat massive amounts of carbs and still lose weight?
What if I told you that you don’t need to do any cardio to get lean?
What if I told you that all you need to get in shape is 90 minutes of exercise per week?
What if I told you that you can drink alcohol (and get wasted, if you want) and still burn fat like a machine?
This is your rebel guide to getting a summer beach body.
Part 1: The Workout
Like I said, you really only need to workout 90 minutes a week to get a beach body.
So for this workout you will be will be working out 3 times per week, at 30 minutes per workout.
The main goal of this workout is to maintain your muscle mass.
You shouldn’t expect to gain much muscle with this workout unless you’re a complete beginner so please understand that the whole goal is maintenance.
- Deadlift – 3 sets x 5 reps
- Weighted pull-ups – 3 sets x 8 reps
- Seated cable row – 2 sets x 6-8 reps
- Hanging Leg raises – 2-3 sets x 15-20 reps
Workout A consists mainly of deadlifts and pull ups.
If you find the conventional deadlift difficult to do, I suggest trying the sumo deadlift (wider stance) first. It’s much easier to do.
As for the pull-ups, if you can do 12 clean reps then start doing them weighted.
Hanging leg raises are pretty self explanatory. Just make sure you’re controlling your body especially on the way down and not swinging around like a damn monkey. If you can’t do hanging leg raises, start by doing lying leg raises.
- Incline press – 3 sets x 6-8 reps
- Cable crossovers – 2 sets x 10-12 reps
- Dumbbell/barbell military press – 3 sets x 8-10 reps
- Triceps pushdown (drop set fashion) – 3 sets x 10-15 reps
I personally do the incline press with dumbbells with the bench set no higher than 30 degrees since it’s safer and I feel greater muscle activation, but feel free to do it with a barbell if you wish.
The triceps pushdown can be done with a rope over whatever ridiculous looking metal bars your gym has. My only bit of advice: go slow and controlled. Direct tricep exercises are not power movements so don’t jerk the weight down.
Pushdowns can really screw up your elbows in the long run if you aren’t controlling the weight. So if you know that you’re not handling the weight with your triceps exclusively, then it’s time to lower the weight.
- Back Squat/Front squat/1-legged leg press – 3 sets x 6-8 reps
- Dumbbell snatch – 3 sets x 8-10 reps
- Front lunges – 2 sets x 8-10 reps per leg
- Push-ups & chin-ups – superset 2 total sets to failure
- Hanging leg raise- 2-3 sets x 15-20 reps
If you can’t back squat properly, then trying front squatting.
If you still find it hard to front squat, then do 1-legged leg presses.
1-legged leg presses are basically the same as the regular leg press but you do them one leg at a time, with one leg up on the platform and the other on the ground.
Why do I recommend this? Because 90% of people have the nasty habit of rounding their lower back when doing the conventional leg press which is bad for so many reasons.
By keeping one leg on the ground, it will be virtually impossible to round your lower back. Plus, you won’t have to spend as much time re-racking the weights 🙂
The dumbbell snatch (video here) is a slightly more technical exercise but it’s quite easy to learn once you start doing it. Just remember to always keep your core tight.
What if I don’t have access to the gym
I’ll be honest, not having access to the gym and heavy weights isn’t ideal. But not all hope is lost.
The next best thing to do is intense bodyweight workouts. One of my favorite bodyweight programs out there now is Bodyweight Burn. Check it out if you’re lacking in the equipment department.
Part 2: The Diet
Next on the list we have diet.
And this will make or break you.
You can lose weight without exercising, but if your diet isn’t on point, you’re dead.
And when it comes to dieting, especially summer dieting, people tend to do extremely desperate things.
Things like buying fat burners and going to detox diets come to mind but I’ll save that for another article.
Don’t be like other people, follow the tips below, become a dieting rebel and make dieting a breeze:
Set your calorie deficit. Once again, this is the cornerstone of any diet. You must eat less than you burn. A crapshoot formula for calculating your daily intake to lose one pound per week would be: Your bodyweight in pounds times 12 kcals.
And remember, this is just a crapshoot. Your intake may very well vary based on your activity level, age, and other factors. Start off with this formula and if you don’t begin to lose weight, then decrease calories by 100-200 per week.
Get your protein. You should aim for a minimum of 0.8-1 gram/lb of bodyweight here. It honestly doesn’t matter where you get your protein, whether it’s from whey protein powder, meat, tofu, etc… You’re not going to make or break your physique based on the source of protein.
Eat some fat. The whole point of getting a healthy amount of fat in your diet is to keep you satiated and to keep your hormone levels in check. So try to get at minimum 20% of your total calories from fat.
Also keep in mind that fat has 9 calories per gram so you can use the following formula below to get a rough estimate your fat intake:
Daily grams of fat formula = (Your daily calorie intake * .20) / 9
As for carbs… Getting your carb intake is really simple. After you get your protein and fats, just fill in whatever remaining calories you have with carbs. You should aim to eat whole-food carbs like potatoes, pasta, and bread. But of course, don’t forget to have a cookie every now and then.
No food is off limit. This is the rebel guide to summer fat loss, not some typical “don’t starchy eat carbs and avoid red meat” bullshit.
The probability of you succeeding on your diet in the long run depends on you being happy and satisfied. So if you want some pie then have some pie, maybe a slice or two. Just don’t eat the whole damn thing and make sure you don’t go over your calorie limit.
Avoid elimination-based diets. An elimination based diet is a diet that completely eliminates (or almost completely eliminates) an entire food group. Things like ketogenic diets or vegetarian diets come to mind, eliminating carbs and meat respectively.
People especially tend to go on elimination diets when they’re desperate (e.g., getting in shape for the summer) by completely eliminating foods like sugar from their diet.
And this works, but only in the short-term. But what happens after the summer? Are you really going to stop eating sugar for the rest of your life?
Probably not. Most people who do elimination diets tend fall off the wagon after a couple of months only to binge on said eliminated food and regain all their lost weight.
This is why you should never restrict any food from your diet. There’s really no single food out there that has the ability to single-handedly wreck your body.
Surviving BBQs and parties. Don’t be the weirdo at the party that eats nothing but carrot sticks. If you play your cards right, you can regularly go to social events and indulge without gaining weight.
The secret behind this is to simply save or ‘bank’ your calories for the party so by the time you eat you’ll have (almost) an entire day’s worth of calories to play with.
So let’s say you’re dieting on 1800 calories per day and you have a barbecue at night. During the day you would essentially fast, consuming nothing but water and zero calorie drinks (diet coke is okay).
So by the time you go to the BBQ, you’ll have 1800 calories to work with, which is quite a lot. And if you really get hungry during the day, you can have a couple of pieces of fruit or a protein shake but don’t eat more than a few hundred calories.
Track weekly, not daily calories. Tracking weekly instead of daily calories removes a lot of the stress of dieting.
Realizing that you need to hit a weekly calorie goal of 140000 calories/week instead of exactly 2000 calories/day removes a lot of the stress from dieting.
It also allows for a lot more freedom, especially if you overeat a bit on one day. In that case, all you need to do is eat less the following day.
Focus on high volume eating. Eat foods like oranges, apples, chicken soup, salads, and anything else that’s high in water, fiber, and low in calories.
Also if you’re in the mood for some pasta, one food that has been gaining in popularity are shirataki noodles, which are essentially zero-calories and taste “almost” like real noodles. These are great if you want to eat a ton of food and still lose weight.
Grow some big fat balls. I’ll be blunt – you’re going to fail. The chances of you actually starting your diet and reaching the finish line without a single screw up are slim to none.
You’re going to have days where you overeat. You’re going to have days where you want to quit. You’re going to have days where you question yourself why the hell you’re even doing this.
And most people quit when they have those days. They go back to their old lifestyle only to repeat the same thing a year later.
It’s like they say – “If it’s easy then everybody would be doing it.”
Dieting is going to be tough so grow a pair of balls. If you already have balls, grow some bigger ones.
And contrary to popular belief, dieting itself isn’t even time-consuming. It’s just incredibly mentally draining. It’s the constant amount of mind-fucking that dieting causes that will screw you over.
The key to dieting success – keep your mind off dieting. Increase your masturbation frequency, find a hobby (stamp collecting, perhaps)…whatever floats your boat.
Part 3: Alcohol
Lastly we have everyone’s favorite topic, booze.
First off, to answer your burning questions:
Can I drink alcohol and still lose weight? Yes
Can I get wasted and still lose weight? Yes
Happy now? You can very well get wasted on a regular basis if you wish and still lose fat.
And just so you know, I’m not encouraging people to get drunk. But if you’re going to get wasted, at least don’t get fat from it.
But first to acknowledge the non-drunks here: If you’re the type of person who just likes to have a beer or two after work or maybe a glass of wine with dinner then just count that towards your total calorie intake for the day. That’s all.
For everyone else wanting to know how they drink their way to leanness, read on.
This is your game plan if you know you’re in for a night of drinking and don’t want to track calories:
Eat plenty of protein. During the day, eat plenty of protein while limiting carbs and fats. Eat foods like protein powder, egg whites, chicken, beef, and low-fat cottage cheese. Get all your carbs from fruits and veggies.
Only use zero calorie mixers. You can drink as much as you want but don’t add any calories on top of the alcohol you’re already consuming. Avoid things like juices, cream, soda, etc…
However feel free to use diet coke (or any diet soda), zero calorie red bull, or any other mixer that has no calories.
Limit your drinking to once or twice per week. Drinking more than this won’t necessarily stall fat loss. But use some common fucking sense. Drinking so much and getting drunk on such a regular basis simply isn’t good for your health.
Don’t eat while drinking. The real reason people get fat isn’t because they drink too much, it’s because they eat too much crap while they drink. It’s not the shots of Grey Goose that make you fat, it’s the chips and 3 a.m. McDonald runs.
Don’t attempt to fight MMA fighters when drunk. Just thought I’d throw this out there. It’s a bad idea, trust me.
Alcohol won’t wreck your fat loss efforts as long as you adhere to the rules above.
But then again, following a set of rules after 8 shots of tequila isn’t the easiest thing in the world.
You don’t need cardio to lose weight for the summer.
Detox diets? That’s hilarious.
You simply need is a sound diet plan without any crazy restrictions plus a simple but effective workout plan.
But on top of all this, you need the mindset. You will fail at least once, maybe twice or ten times before you reach your goals.
Stay persistent and you will come out on top.
Are you planning to lose weight for the summer? Let me know if you have any questions in the comments below.