When I think of prisons, the first things that come to mind are:
- Rape jokes
- Dudes stabbing dudes
- Rape jokes
- Ridiculously ripped guys doing push ups in their cells
Now whether or not it’s actually true, Hollywood brainwashed us into thinking that dudes in prison are super ripped and muscular.
Personally, I have never been to prison, nor do I know anyone in prison, but whether you like it or not, most people believe that most guys in prison are totally jacked.
How to do a prison workout routine
So hypothetically speaking, let’s just say I was arrested and put into prison for bringing beef jerky into a vegan restaurant (hey, it happens).**
How in the hell would I then continue to workout even though I’m in a locked in a tiny cell all day?
The answer – bodyweight exercises.
Using bodyweight exercises to get ripped
If you don’t have access to weights, then bodyweight exercises are the next best thing.
And please don’t think bodyweight exercises only encompasses the stereotypical “dude in cell” doing push ups. When it comes to bodyweight exercises, there are hundreds of potential exercises that you can do.
This is why you really have no excuse to get fit even if you don’t have access to the gym. If a prisoner in a tiny cell can get ripped, then so can you.
Prison workout – upper body exercises
Push up variatons – while the old fashioned regular push up is still one of the best upper body exercises around, there’s just so much more you can do with it. And the best part about push ups is that you only need a tiny bit of open floor space.
Push up variations include:
- Diamond push ups – video here
- Wide grip push ups – video here
- Spider man push ups – video here
- Clapping push ups – video here
- T push ups – video here
- Hindu push ups – video here
Tricep dips – If you want to look like a force to be reckoned with in prison, then you need to have big arms. One of the best ways to build up your arms is with tricep dips. These can be done on the side of your bed.
Pull ups– These might be a bit harder to do in a prison cell since there’s most cells don’t include a pull up bar, so the best thing to do would be to find a ledge or something to grab onto. Pull ups are an excellent exercise for building a wide v-shaped back.
Prison workout – lower body exercises
Squat variations – In the world of bodyweight exercises, bodyweight squats are the lower body equivalent of push ups. And just like push ups, there are a ton of squat variations including:
- Prisoner squats (no pun intended) – video here
- Y squats – video here
- Sqaut jump – video here
- Hindu squats – video here
Lunge variations – Lunges are another great exercise to build lower body power and mass. Here are some of the most popular lunge variations:
Prison workout – ab exercises
Front plank/side plank – These are 2 of the best exercises to streghten your core. While the side plank works similar muscles as front plank, it focuses on the obliques a bit more.
Mountain climbers – This is a great exercise to really work your abs. Try to do these for 30-60 seconds at a time. You can check out the video here for a demonstration.
Lying leg raises – These are great if you tend to have small ab muscles.. Lying leg raises are great for building up the size of your abs.
Badass exercises- become the ultimate convict
These are exercises that will make you the most badass man in prison (and outside prison). Seriously, if you can pull off these exercises with perfect form, no one will mess with you.
- One-arm push ups
- One-leg squats
- One-arm pull ups
- Hanging straight leg raises
- Stand to Stand Bridges
- One-arm handstand push ups
These are all super advanced exercises, but Coach Paul Wade teaches them to you in a way that even beginners can understand in Convict Conditioning.
The goal of Convict Conditioning is to help you work up to:
- AT LEAST one set of 5 one-arm pushups each side—with the ELITE goal of 100 sets each sid
- AT LEAST one set of 5 one-leg squats each side—with the ELITE goal of 2 sets of 50 each side
- AT LEAST one set of 1 one-arm pullups each side—with the ELITE goal of 2 sets of 6 each side
- AT LEAST one set of 5 hanging straight leg raises—with the ELITE goal of 2 sets of 30
- AT LEAST one set of 1 stand-to-stand bridges—with the ELITE goal of 2 sets of 30
- AT LEAST one set of 1 one-arm handstand pushups—with the ELITE goal of 1 set of 5
You definitely deserve major props if you’re able to pull off these exercises in real life.
Have any questions about the prison workout routine? Let me know in the comments below.
*** Note: No matter how much you want to, try not to bring beef jerky into a vegan restaurant. While it probably won’t land you in prison, it is highly frowned upon.